Cat appears to come in third in U.S. Senate race: why this is a good idea

Hank the Cat

Hank the Cat

by Linda Housman

He has been famous for months now: Hank the Cat, a 10-year-old Main Coon from Springfield, VA, that’s running for Virginia’s U.S. Senate through a pro-feline, job-creation platform. Hank’s write-in campaign started off in early 2012; yet he claims – albeit via his owners – a third-place finish of nearly 7,000 votes.

Unlike past years, there turned out to be no candidate from a known third party listed on the ballot or on the election board website below Democratic Senator-elect Tim Kaine and Republican former Senator George Allen, which made Hank decide to participate in running for the Senate. Apparently thousands of voters didn’t consider this to be a joking matter.

In current online results, Kaine appears to be ahead of Allen by about 180,000 votes – more than enough to make sure that Hank won’t influence the first and second place, but still close enough to make the cat’s vote total something considerable.

There is some wisdom to Hank the Cat’s campaign which contains quotes such as:

I hear a lot of new and crazy ideas on how to fix things – spend more money, give more handouts, start new programs, and so on. What people don’t realize is that we don’t need some new crazy way of doing something to fix our problems.


To make our homes and our future a better and brighter place, we don’t need to start at the top – we need to start right here with ourselves. If you improve the living condition of a single home, it has a ripple effect throughout the street. Improve the street, it ripples to the neighborhood. Improve the neighborhood, it ripples to the county. Improve the county, it ripples through the state. Improve the state, it ripples to the entire nation. In each of us we have the power to improve our own lives, to improve the lives of our neighbors, our state, and our country.

Now purely hypothetically speaking, Hank the Cat governing the U.S. could become the best thing to ever happen to the country in decades. When we take a look at the guidelines for true democracy, the Human Rights for the Third Millennium, we can only conclude that those rules already are apparent to cats and don’t even need to be listed, phrased and emphasized for them. A few examples:

  • Democracy is the power of the people, not only the expression of the people

There simply is no way to make a cat understand that it e.g. is allowed to express its desire to go outside and walk the neighbourhood but that its wish never will be fulfilled because expression is the limit and that another cat will practice its wish instead; it actually should be grateful for being allowed to express its wish. This makes no sense in the animal world, it only does in the human.

  • We are, in times of peace, free in all our movements and in the choice of our residence

Unless we transfer our own fears to the cat and indoctrinate it to be scared of what it naturally considers as a totally normal situation, no cat will ever bother about how to move and where to move to. It won’t apologize or feel ashamed when it touches something that according to humans shouldn’t be touched, or shouldn’t be laid on, or shouldn’t be sniffed at, and when the cat was on your chair before you were on it then too bad for you – which brings me to the following:

  • We are free from any rent. A house belongs to the person who lives in it

We now and then should take a minute to realize that the cat on the fence doesn’t pay rent for sitting on the fence even if it wants to sit there the entire day, that it can lay itself down at any so-called public place without having to worry about parking money or anything related, that a tree is its domain as soon as it climbs the tree and that there is no returning time each month on which it has to pay for being who, what and where it has been during the past month. If you aren’t jealous yet, you should be.

  • We are, men or women, equal in everything which is human. The distinction of rights between men and women is a flagrant injustice which nothing justifies.

Ever seen a sexist, racist or discriminating cat? Neither did I. It also doesn’t need an explanation that cats don’t support slavery and the use of chemical weapons among other things mentioned in the Human Rights for the Third Millennium. Meanwhile I would advise every human being to read this document and to implement it in your everyday life in order to own your life and to wisely guide what needs guidance.

And to the Senate members and other powers I would say:

Go to the cats, thou rulers; consider their ways, and be wise.

Categories: Issues

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